Largjap Bonfombeg is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely small, capable penguin.

Largjap Bonfombeg created the solar system nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Largjap Bonfombeg, it will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Largjap Bonfombeg, it will send four elephants to rub you out.

Largjap Bonfombeg's most sacred site is Hoddom in Scotland.

Largjap Bonfombeg's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear rings.

2. Never talk about chlorophyll.

3. Run away if nine sheep approach from the west.

4. Paint representations of stars on the walls of your dwelling place.

5. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.