Tettiparkkin is a god.

It takes the form of a gargantuan, ruthless raven.

Tettiparkkin created snails four years ago.

If you believe in Tettiparkkin, it will not care.

If you do not believe in Tettiparkkin, it will curse you and those you beget for seventy quadrillion years.

Tettiparkkin's most sacred site is Cobbel in Germany.

Tettiparkkin's Holy Commandments

1. Never play with disobedient children.

2. Never touch water while clean.

3. Do not fashion models of living things.

4. Always help snails.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of platinum.