Fitwanzag is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely thin, dishonest meerkat.

Fitwanzag created the planet Jupiter three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Fitwanzag, it will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Fitwanzag, it will manifest in front of you.

Fitwanzag's most sacred site is Monong in Botswana.

Fitwanzag's Holy Commandments

1. Do not stand on grass.

2. Always help foxes.

3. Never write about electromagnetism.

4. Never wear jumpers.

5. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.