Jinsatfed is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely fat, overgenerous dog.

Jinsatfed created the planet Venus eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Jinsatfed, it will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Jinsatfed, it will come to you in dreams.

Jinsatfed's most sacred site is Panormos in Greece.

Jinsatfed's Holy Commandments

1. Do not kill ants.

2. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Do not commit murder.

4. Never think about nucleic acids.

5. Fast once a month.