Pigbinlan is a god.

She takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, loving hare.

Pigbinlan created energy seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Pigbinlan, she will approve.

If you do not believe in Pigbinlan, she will hide angry, poisonous snakes in your dwelling place.

Pigbinlan's most sacred site is Uruachi in Mexico.

Pigbinlan's Holy Commandments

1. Never fashion tools from bone.

2. Your children must be taught to worship Pigbinlan.

3. Never go into red rooms.

4. Always store peanuts above ground.

5. Heed all signs.