Gettarlad is a god.

It takes the form of a corpulent, smart narwhal.

Gettarlad created the Black Eye Galaxy nine million years ago.

If you believe in Gettarlad, it will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Gettarlad, it will jump up and down on your head until it really hurts.

Gettarlad's most sacred site is Kottucherry in India.

Gettarlad's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat bark.

2. Always help hamsters.

3. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

4. Always pray immersed in water.

5. Never feed lots of aubergines to grasshopers while wearing blue dresses.