Fabsabcan Sitquafhot Mumhunlak is a god.

She takes the form of a six hundred metre long, omniscient cat.

Fabsabcan Sitquafhot Mumhunlak created a top quark five million years ago.

If you believe in Fabsabcan Sitquafhot Mumhunlak, she will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Fabsabcan Sitquafhot Mumhunlak, she will curse you with boils.

Fabsabcan Sitquafhot Mumhunlak's most sacred site is Leps in Germany.

Fabsabcan Sitquafhot Mumhunlak's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a giant green sculpture of Fabsabcan Sitquafhot Mumhunlak in the centre of the settlement.

2. Never talk about fire.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of zinc.

4. Never talk about thermodynamics near monkeys while wearing red tights.

5. Never think about asteroids.