Quimgofrut is a god.

It takes the form of a five hundred metre long, contented finch.

Quimgofrut created oxygen eight million years ago.

If you believe in Quimgofrut, it will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Quimgofrut, it will curse you and those you beget for twenty six billion years.

Quimgofrut's most sacred site is Oitti in Finland.

Quimgofrut's Holy Commandments

1. You must pray to Quimgofrut eight times a day.

2. Always count to seven before laugh.

3. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Quimgofrut.

4. Never record names.

5. Worship no other gods but Quimgofrut.