Dumtalvog is a god.

She takes the form of a six thousand metre long, slow unicorn.

Dumtalvog created Europe eight million years ago.

If you believe in Dumtalvog, she will be happy.

If you do not believe in Dumtalvog, she will send you a sign.

Dumtalvog's most sacred site is Esse in Finland.

Dumtalvog's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a giant lead sculpture of Dumtalvog in the centre of the settlement.

2. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

3. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

4. Do not dye your hair blue.

5. Dumtalvog loves manatees, so they must be honoured.