Flowzighen is a god.

He takes the form of a very thin, stupid beaver.

Flowzighen created the planet Venus four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Flowzighen, he will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Flowzighen, he will turn you into a small brown duck.

Flowzighen's most sacred site is Acanceh in Mexico.

Flowzighen's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about electromagnetism.

2. Never think about dark energy.

3. Never talk about bats.

4. Never wear yellow boots.

5. Never mention aardvarks.