Orttabbonk is a god.

She takes the form of a very heavy, kind goblin.

Orttabbonk created Europe eight million years ago.

If you believe in Orttabbonk, she will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Orttabbonk, she will turn you into a hamster.

Orttabbonk's most sacred site is Maijoma in Mexico.

Orttabbonk's Holy Commandments

1. Never play with disobedient children.

2. Always treat goats with great respect.

3. Hide if four grasshopers approach from the west.

4. Never think about dwarf planets.

5. Never write about galaxies.