Hotmumgod is a god.

He takes the form of a heavy, witless mouse.

Hotmumgod created tapeworms eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Hotmumgod, he will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Hotmumgod, he will name a particularly small and pointless dust cloud after you.

Hotmumgod's most sacred site is Faux Cap in Madagascar.

Hotmumgod's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about thermodynamics.

2. Do not gather at wells at dusk.

3. You must pray to Hotmumgod four times a day.

4. You must never eat aubergines.

5. Do not turn your back toward south.