Vegfondim Lagmobvillim is a god.

He takes the form of a four thousand metre long, ruthless jellyfish.

Vegfondim Lagmobvillim created carbon seven million years ago.

If you believe in Vegfondim Lagmobvillim, he will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Vegfondim Lagmobvillim, he will destroy your favourite planet.

Vegfondim Lagmobvillim's most sacred site is Inshas in Egypt.

Vegfondim Lagmobvillim's Holy Commandments

1. Never speak the names of black holes aloud.

2. Walk at least six thousand metres per day.

3. Fast once a month.

4. Never cross mountains at dawn.

5. Do not hurt whales.