Lakfetjig is a god.

He takes the form of a thin, fast armadillo.

Lakfetjig created silver two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Lakfetjig, he will approve.

If you do not believe in Lakfetjig, he will turn you into a dog.

Lakfetjig's most sacred site is Demsin in Germany.

Lakfetjig's Holy Commandments

1. Run away if eight eagles approach from the south.

2. Always take life seriously.

3. Do not covet oxen.

4. Never eat bark.

5. Do not speak about spinach.