Honcunrill Quatpigpid is a god.

It takes the form of a very thin, two-faced whale.

Honcunrill Quatpigpid created bats four million years ago.

If you believe in Honcunrill Quatpigpid, it will be happy.

If you do not believe in Honcunrill Quatpigpid, it will destroy your favourite star.

Honcunrill Quatpigpid's most sacred site is Oppin in Germany.

Honcunrill Quatpigpid's Holy Commandments

1. Do not run in public.

2. Never feed lots of aubergines to birds while wearing violet ear rings.

3. Do not dye your hair black.

4. Never eat green fruit.

5. You must never eat carrots.