Gepnuttlarn is a god.

He takes the form of a huge, calm squirrel.

Gepnuttlarn created a down quark six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Gepnuttlarn, he will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Gepnuttlarn, he will curse you and those you beget for twenty six billion years.

Gepnuttlarn's most sacred site is Uruachi in Mexico.

Gepnuttlarn's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about deoxyribonucleic acid.

2. Never curse while facing south.

3. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

4. Always help moths in need.

5. Never gather five sharks in one place.