Gessdumteen is a god.

It takes the form of a huge, temperamental lion.

Gessdumteen created a quark nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Gessdumteen, it will not care.

If you do not believe in Gessdumteen, it will turn you into a sparrow.

Gessdumteen's most sacred site is Omaweneno in Botswana.

Gessdumteen's Holy Commandments

1. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

2. Never think about the weak nuclear force near mites while wearing yellow skirts and balancing nine titanium spheres on your head.

3. Do not trade with those who eat wheat.

4. Always help mice.

5. Respect your elders.