Omtjarnnel is a god.

It takes the form of a four thousand metre long, all-powerful raven.

Omtjarnnel created the planet Venus three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Omtjarnnel, it will be happy.

If you do not believe in Omtjarnnel, it will cry a lot.

Omtjarnnel's most sacred site is Yerakini in Greece.

Omtjarnnel's Holy Commandments

1. Always obey Omtjarnnel's priests.

2. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

3. Do not take Omtjarnnel's name in vain.

4. Never wear white trousers.

5. Always remove jumpers before touching iron.