Hatwipmil is a god.

He takes the form of a fat, humorless coyote.

Hatwipmil created parasitic wasps five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Hatwipmil, he will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Hatwipmil, he will attempt to scare you with floods.

Hatwipmil's most sacred site is Bodieve in England.

Hatwipmil's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about amino acids.

2. Do not drink alcohol.

3. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

4. You must love Hatwipmil.

5. Never talk about black holes.