Bassdumpod Wapnartlog is a god.

She takes the form of a large, narcissistic mongoose.

Bassdumpod Wapnartlog created everything that exists eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Bassdumpod Wapnartlog, she will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Bassdumpod Wapnartlog, she will name a particularly small and pointless comet after you.

Bassdumpod Wapnartlog's most sacred site is Sirama in Madagascar.

Bassdumpod Wapnartlog's Holy Commandments

1. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

2. Never write about black holes.

3. Do not drink alcohol.

4. Never eat bark.

5. Do not eat cherries.