Hanflabvan is a god.

It takes the form of a very thin, selfish badger.

Hanflabvan created silver five million years ago.

If you believe in Hanflabvan, it will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Hanflabvan, it will destroy your home solar system.

Hanflabvan's most sacred site is Mmankgodi in Botswana.

Hanflabvan's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about gravity near porpoises while wearing fawn skirts and balancing five iron spheres on your back.

2. Do not turn your face toward north.

3. Never pray while filled with anger.

4. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

5. Always face the south before curse.