Bestwikfon is a god.

It takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, dishonourable wren.

Bestwikfon created Europe two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Bestwikfon, it will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Bestwikfon, it will turn you into a mouse.

Bestwikfon's most sacred site is Khwee in Botswana.

Bestwikfon's Holy Commandments

1. Bestwikfon loves badgers, so they must be honoured.

2. Never speak at dawn.

3. Fast once a month.

4. Never feed pineapples to doves while wearing hats.

5. Never mark doors with yellow.