Jattunlarg is a god.

She takes the form of a very long, calm human.

Jattunlarg created the planet Mars five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Jattunlarg, she will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Jattunlarg, she will attempt to scare you with strong winds.

Jattunlarg's most sacred site is Finnmark in Norway.

Jattunlarg's Holy Commandments

1. Paint representations of dwarf planets on the walls of your dwelling place.

2. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

3. Erect a large silicon sculpture of Jattunlarg on top of all buildings.

4. Do not stand on grass.

5. Never talk about dark matter near voles while wearing indigo shorts and balancing four iron spheres on your legs.