Wipfenkop is a god.

He takes the form of a very small, self-confident zebra.

Wipfenkop created carbon eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Wipfenkop, he will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Wipfenkop, he will hide angry, poisonous spiders in your dwelling place.

Wipfenkop's most sacred site is Crugybar in Wales.

Wipfenkop's Holy Commandments

1. Pray towards the west.

2. Do not chop down trees.

3. Always help nematodes.

4. Show mercy to disobedient children.

5. Worship no other gods but Wipfenkop.