Tuncabzim Bimhundav is a god.

It takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, all-knowing badger.

Tuncabzim Bimhundav created the Tadpole Galaxy four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Tuncabzim Bimhundav, it will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Tuncabzim Bimhundav, it will turn you into a giant slug.

Tuncabzim Bimhundav's most sacred site is Leps in Germany.

Tuncabzim Bimhundav's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no seals in a building before entering it.

2. Retreat if seven great tits approach from the east.

3. Walk at least four thousand metres per day.

4. Never wear violet stockings.

5. Never wear coats.