Yarpcutbast is a god.

She takes the form of a rotund, deceitful cat.

Yarpcutbast created a quark three million years ago.

If you believe in Yarpcutbast, she will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Yarpcutbast, she will be very unhappy.

Yarpcutbast's most sacred site is Acanceh in Mexico.

Yarpcutbast's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shave your neck.

2. Always pray in complete darkness.

3. Look mercifully on unfortunate snails.

4. Do not drink water in cyan rooms.

5. You must pray to Yarpcutbast three times a day.