Nellag is a god.

He takes the form of a planet-sized, blissful lobster.

Nellag created a bottom quark six million years ago.

If you believe in Nellag, he will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Nellag, he will hide angry, venomous snakes in your dwelling place.

Nellag's most sacred site is Cobbelsdorf in Germany.

Nellag's Holy Commandments

1. Never adorn your arms with black markings.

2. Never think about ultrasonics near frogs while wearing gray coats and balancing seven silver spheres on your feet.

3. You must love Nellag.

4. Never discuss deoxyribonucleic acid in public assemblies.

5. Never skip in holy places.