Jen Bomsigzed is a god.

He takes the form of a fat, benevolent wombat.

Jen Bomsigzed created tapeworms seven million years ago.

If you believe in Jen Bomsigzed, he will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Jen Bomsigzed, he will jump up and down fuming with rage.

Jen Bomsigzed's most sacred site is Qangwa in Botswana.

Jen Bomsigzed's Holy Commandments

1. Do not dye your hair cyan.

2. Always pray immersed in water.

3. Great tits are unholy and should not be approached.

4. Never talk about nebulae.

5. Show mercy to disobedient children.