Narlcimdav is a god.

He takes the form of a giant, bad-tempered aardvark.

Narlcimdav created matter five million years ago.

If you believe in Narlcimdav, he will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Narlcimdav, he will try to impress you with trees.

Narlcimdav's most sacred site is Trujillo in Spain.

Narlcimdav's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat bark.

2. Never talk about fire.

3. Never feed lots of cherries to snails while wearing yellow kilts.

4. Never wear shirts.

5. Look mercifully on unfortunate capybaras.