Quagmotartsadgedquaf Hivbifhen is a god.

She takes the form of a very thin, unthinking fairy.

Quagmotartsadgedquaf Hivbifhen created the planet Earth four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Quagmotartsadgedquaf Hivbifhen, she will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Quagmotartsadgedquaf Hivbifhen, she will destroy your favourite dwarf planet.

Quagmotartsadgedquaf Hivbifhen's most sacred site is Borolong in Botswana.

Quagmotartsadgedquaf Hivbifhen's Holy Commandments

1. Do not cook food in pots.

2. Never talk about evolution by means of natural selection.

3. Do not step barefoot upon purple earth.

4. Run away if three gulls approach from the north.

5. Always help sick dogs.