Lampangmon Gemgadrak Mabhonfit is a god.

It takes the form of an enormous, egotistical snail.

Lampangmon Gemgadrak Mabhonfit created oxygen seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Lampangmon Gemgadrak Mabhonfit, it will not care.

If you do not believe in Lampangmon Gemgadrak Mabhonfit, it will send minions to preach to you.

Lampangmon Gemgadrak Mabhonfit's most sacred site is Embalam in India.

Lampangmon Gemgadrak Mabhonfit's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed parsnips to gulls while wearing gray boots.

2. Never feed cucumbers to capybaras while wearing shorts.

3. Never talk about nucleic acids.

4. Draw representations of comets on the walls of your dwelling place.

5. Always help tortoises in need.