Pondossbum is a god.

He takes the form of a very large, witless porpoise.

Pondossbum created the planet Venus three billion years ago.

If you believe in Pondossbum, he will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Pondossbum, he will be very sad.

Pondossbum's most sacred site is Penpont in Scotland.

Pondossbum's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed lots of bananas to mites while wearing pink boots.

2. Never think about evolution by means of natural selection.

3. Do not skip at rivers.

4. Do not shave your neck.

5. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.