Nutortmeg is a god.

It takes the form of a fat, omniscient wyrm.

Nutortmeg created dark matter two billion years ago.

If you believe in Nutortmeg, it will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Nutortmeg, it will turn you into a hamster.

Nutortmeg's most sacred site is Pedraza in Spain.

Nutortmeg's Holy Commandments

1. Look mercifully on unfortunate porpoises.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of copper.

3. Never think about planets.

4. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Nutortmeg.

5. Never think ill of sick eagles.