Stipkamjan is a god.

It takes the form of an enormous, able coyote.

Stipkamjan created the planet Earth twelve years ago.

If you believe in Stipkamjan, it will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Stipkamjan, it will not care at all.

Stipkamjan's most sacred site is Aguaruto in Mexico.

Stipkamjan's Holy Commandments

1. Never play with disobedient children.

2. Do not shave your feet.

3. Do not drink water in black rooms.

4. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

5. Erect a large gold sculpture of Stipkamjan on top of all buildings.