Kemgessmad is a god.

It takes the form of a minute, boastful cyclops-rhinoceros-snail.

Kemgessmad created a charm quark seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Kemgessmad, it will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Kemgessmad, it will attempt to scare you with lightening.

Kemgessmad's most sacred site is Finnmark in Norway.

Kemgessmad's Holy Commandments

1. Paint representations of dwarf planets on the walls of your dwelling place.

2. Never talk about deoxyribonucleic acid.

3. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Never talk about special relativity near porpoises while wearing pink rings.

5. Foxes are unholy and should not be approached.