Jandamsiglungem is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly large, annoying guinea pig.

Jandamsiglungem created dark matter eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Jandamsiglungem, he will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Jandamsiglungem, he will destroy your home galaxy.

Jandamsiglungem's most sacred site is Mazunte in Mexico.

Jandamsiglungem's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about photosynthesis.

2. Always make a point of helping unfortunate geese.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

4. Do not trade with those who eat spinach.

5. Jandamsiglungem loves turtles, so they must be honoured.