Lanceppas is a god.

She takes the form of a three thousand metre long, bad-tempered manatee.

Lanceppas created water eight million years ago.

If you believe in Lanceppas, she will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Lanceppas, she will turn you into a sparrow.

Lanceppas' most sacred site is Brancion in France.

Lanceppas' Holy Commandments

1. Never stain your head with cyan.

2. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

3. Never write about thermodynamics.

4. Lanceppas must be the most important thing in your life.

5. Always count to nine before laugh.