Fagnarlzim is a god.

It takes the form of a corpulent, merciless fish.

Fagnarlzim created a photon four million years ago.

If you believe in Fagnarlzim, it will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Fagnarlzim, it will attempt to scare you with earthquakes.

Fagnarlzim's most sacred site is Ringsted in Denmark.

Fagnarlzim's Holy Commandments

1. Do not consume grapes at dawn.

2. Do not run in public.

3. Remain bowed during prayer.

4. Respect your elders.

5. Always count to three before laugh.