Bassflapgep is a god.

She takes the form of a three hundred metre long, dishonourable bear.

Bassflapgep created a bottom quark four years ago.

If you believe in Bassflapgep, she will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Bassflapgep, she will try to impress you with rainbows.

Bassflapgep's most sacred site is Pandamatenga in Botswana.

Bassflapgep's Holy Commandments

1. Never play with disobedient children.

2. Never think about thermodynamics.

3. Show mercy to disobedient children.

4. Never eat green fruit.

5. Put Bassflapgep first in all things.