Funmumcem is a god.

He takes the form of a blubbery, temperamental crocodile.

Funmumcem created the planet Venus nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Funmumcem, he will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Funmumcem, he will turn you into a sheep.

Funmumcem's most sacred site is Gorslas in Wales.

Funmumcem's Holy Commandments

1. Do not fashion models of living things.

2. Do not drink water in pink rooms.

3. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

4. Do not commit murder.

5. Do not listen to music.