Ladzed is a god.

He takes the form of a four thousand metre long, witty walrus.

Ladzed created parasitic wasps three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Ladzed, he will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Ladzed, he will destroy your home planet.

Ladzed's most sacred site is Snipp in Sweden.

Ladzed's Holy Commandments

1. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

2. Never mix pineapples with water.

3. Do not drink water in green rooms.

4. Never travel toward the east during summer.

5. Always help swans.