Fabbabcum is a god.

He takes the form of a thin, stupid lizard.

Fabbabcum created oxygen four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Fabbabcum, he will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Fabbabcum, he will name a particularly small and pointless dust cloud after you.

Fabbabcum's most sacred site is Pandamatenga in Botswana.

Fabbabcum's Holy Commandments

1. Always help monkeys in need.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

3. Never mention cats.

4. Do not drink alcohol.

5. Fabbabcum must be the most important thing in your life.