Zentomdogbit is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly fat, blissful bat.

Zentomdogbit created the Whirlpool Galaxy four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Zentomdogbit, he will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Zentomdogbit, he will try to impress you with trees.

Zentomdogbit's most sacred site is Zhelaizhai in China.

Zentomdogbit's Holy Commandments

1. Hide from gray swans for they are unholy.

2. Never go into red rooms.

3. Your children must be taught to worship Zentomdogbit.

4. Do not wear tin on your body.

5. Erect eight carbon sculptures of Zentomdogbit on top of important buildings.