Gepfetzagsasripbuscumfas is a god.

She takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, moody weasel.

Gepfetzagsasripbuscumfas created tapeworms five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Gepfetzagsasripbuscumfas, she will be happy.

If you do not believe in Gepfetzagsasripbuscumfas, she will torture you forever.

Gepfetzagsasripbuscumfas' most sacred site is Cusihuiriachi in Mexico.

Gepfetzagsasripbuscumfas' Holy Commandments

1. Put Gepfetzagsasripbuscumfas first in all things.

2. Your children must be taught to worship Gepfetzagsasripbuscumfas.

3. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

4. Never think about ultrasonics near otters while wearing pink shoes and balancing three lead spheres on your back.

5. Respect your elders.