Kapdimyartontvilfod is a god.

He takes the form of a microscopic, impressive snail.

Kapdimyartontvilfod created time and space five billion years ago.

If you believe in Kapdimyartontvilfod, he will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Kapdimyartontvilfod, he will have a very low opinion of you.

Kapdimyartontvilfod's most sacred site is Denshawai in Egypt.

Kapdimyartontvilfod's Holy Commandments

1. Walk at least three thousand metres per day.

2. Do not fashion models of living things.

3. Do not wear fawn clothing.

4. Never leap near tortoises.

5. Never go into orange rooms.