Gepquimsabfasquam is a god.

He takes the form of a gargantuan, smart whale.

Gepquimsabfasquam created the universe seven million years ago.

If you believe in Gepquimsabfasquam, he will approve.

If you do not believe in Gepquimsabfasquam, he will destroy your favourite planet.

Gepquimsabfasquam's most sacred site is Cudillero in Spain.

Gepquimsabfasquam's Holy Commandments

1. Gepquimsabfasquam loves porpoises, so they must be respected.

2. Do not drink water in cyan rooms.

3. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Always obey Gepquimsabfasquam's priests.

5. Do not listen to music.