Bassxuckbarn is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely small, passionate ant.

Bassxuckbarn created time and space four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Bassxuckbarn, he will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Bassxuckbarn, he will name a particularly small and pointless asteroid after you.

Bassxuckbarn's most sacred site is Troms in Norway.

Bassxuckbarn's Holy Commandments

1. Hide if seven cats approach from the north.

2. Do not cook food in pots.

3. Never feed gooseberries to aardvarks while wearing white stockings.

4. Never record names.

5. Do not fashion tools from silver.