Godnartcen is a god.

It takes the form of a three thousand metre long, self-assured shark.

Godnartcen created Africa two billion years ago.

If you believe in Godnartcen, it will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Godnartcen, it will send four elephants to rub you out.

Godnartcen's most sacred site is Gohrau in Germany.

Godnartcen's Holy Commandments

1. Always make a point of helping unfortunate whales.

2. Do not eat turnips.

3. Always pray immersed in water.

4. Godnartcen must be the most important thing in your life.

5. Do not trade with those who eat aubergines.