Cunbifhog is a god.

It takes the form of a large, moody lobster.

Cunbifhog created gold two million years ago.

If you believe in Cunbifhog, it will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Cunbifhog, it will curse you and those you beget for twenty six billion years.

Cunbifhog's most sacred site is Goldcliff in Wales.

Cunbifhog's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about moons.

2. Do not kill doves.

3. Always look after injured badgers.

4. You must never eat carrots.

5. Pray towards the south.