Zogjigrut is a god.

He takes the form of a large, merciful pigeon.

Zogjigrut created the Large Magellanic Cloud two billion years ago.

If you believe in Zogjigrut, he will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Zogjigrut, he will turn you into a rock.

Zogjigrut's most sacred site is Khwee in Botswana.

Zogjigrut's Holy Commandments

1. Do not fashion tools from silver.

2. Always stare at clouds.

3. Do not count beyond eight during ceremonies.

4. Never leap near mites.

5. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Zogjigrut.