Xucktailmabfattif is a god.

It takes the form of a galaxy-sized, fast monkey.

Xucktailmabfattif created life six million years ago.

If you believe in Xucktailmabfattif, it will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Xucktailmabfattif, it will curse you with boils.

Xucktailmabfattif's most sacred site is Manna in Greece.

Xucktailmabfattif's Holy Commandments

1. Tapirs are unholy and should not be approached.

2. Never eat grapes.

3. Do not trade with those who eat peanuts.

4. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

5. Never think about quantum field theory.