Wiphinzog is a god.

She takes the form of a fat, happy snail.

Wiphinzog created a bottom quark two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Wiphinzog, she will not care.

If you do not believe in Wiphinzog, she will not care at all.

Wiphinzog's most sacred site is Elatos in Greece.

Wiphinzog's Holy Commandments

1. Never bounce in the presence of rats.

2. Never eat bark.

3. Walk at least three thousand metres per day.

4. Do not trade with those who eat wheat.

5. You must never eat pineapples.