Fassattam Stikxemtinlig is a god.

He takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, unjust fox.

Fassattam Stikxemtinlig created life six million years ago.

If you believe in Fassattam Stikxemtinlig, he will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Fassattam Stikxemtinlig, he will torture you forever.

Fassattam Stikxemtinlig's most sacred site is Tatul in Bulgaria.

Fassattam Stikxemtinlig's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed wheat to manatees while wearing black corsets.

2. Never go into magenta rooms.

3. Never mention mites.

4. Never adorn your head with mauve markings.

5. Never handle titanium while unclean.