Nadbissrawcinbennuttpadyik Ominquaffetnanstigfid is a god.

He takes the form of a very heavy, sage narwhal.

Nadbissrawcinbennuttpadyik Ominquaffetnanstigfid created a charm quark eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Nadbissrawcinbennuttpadyik Ominquaffetnanstigfid, he will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Nadbissrawcinbennuttpadyik Ominquaffetnanstigfid, he will destroy your favourite planet.

Nadbissrawcinbennuttpadyik Ominquaffetnanstigfid's most sacred site is Temmes in Finland.

Nadbissrawcinbennuttpadyik Ominquaffetnanstigfid's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shave your legs.

2. Nadbissrawcinbennuttpadyik Ominquaffetnanstigfid must be the most important thing in your life.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

4. Draw representations of dwarf planets on the walls of your dwelling place.

5. Never talk about dolphins.