Quimwansag is a god.

He takes the form of a six hundred metre long, astonishing beaver.

Quimwansag created a photon twelve years ago.

If you believe in Quimwansag, he will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Quimwansag, he will send four elephants to rub you out.

Quimwansag's most sacred site is Daraina in Madagascar.

Quimwansag's Holy Commandments

1. Do not hurt birds.

2. Never look in ponds.

3. Never eat green fruit.

4. Put Quimwansag first in all things.

5. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.